In case of chronic anxiety or depression
People who have chronic anxiety or depression need a couple of extra steps to the separation process, because people with these problems are usually over-thinkers and over-analyzers. For these people it is a little bit different to complete the separation but is also more rewarding. It is an overwhelmingly good feeling to get power over ones anxiety and it opens a world of new possibilities.
Obsessive thought are negative. Turn them positive and they quiet down.
Earlier we talked about bad triggers. The worst trigger is one that we stumble on over and over again while getting more and more anxious about the reactions. These are called negative loops. Anxiety and depression are largely caused by negative loops, which are subjects that send your mind directly to a negative place that causes a chemical reaction in your body that intensifies the feeling. This new intensified feeling brings you right back to the same subject that again sends your mind to the negative place that now can be felt with more emotion which causes a new chemical reaction and sends you right back to the subject, and it continues like this as a never ending loop.
Commonly these triggers are something that a person has done in the past of which they are very ashamed. When this memory pops in their head, they immediately feel the reaction in their body. Then for some reason this thought starts going through a loop and the physical reaction to these feelings magnify every single time the loop is completed. People can do this for years and some come to accept them as their very own cross to bare. No. This is the ego in work getting your undivided attention and building up its own significance. This is commonly followed by the hardening of the sufferers exterior image, which is literally building up the ego.
These loops need to be fixed. You can fix them with a mind tool I call the “Loop Editor”. This is something that seems silly but works amazingly well. It has been used in different contexts in the past, but when I was struggling with these issues, this helped me a lot.
There are 3 steps you need to take to successfully edit/dismantle a loop.
- Clearly visualize the subject that acts as the trigger of the loop and write down everything about the subject in great detail.
- Write down the worst possible scenario you can think of concerning the subject.
- Write down the best possible scenario you can think of concerning the subject.
- Find ways to make the subject funny and visualize it from 3rd person over and over again, until you realize that the subject makes you smile – or even better makes you laugh – but visualize it at least 25 times.
- Use “Link Editor” to inactivate any remaining negative associations concerning the subject.
Find bad associations and erase them.
Take notice of any thoughts that immediately take you to an unwanted place. Imagine these bad associations as wormholes. The very moment you stumble upon a certain thought they teleport you somewhere else without any warning. There might not be any kind of logical link between the two thoughts, but at some point they were linked together and they can be unlinked just as well. They not only can be unlinked but absolutely need to be unlinked. You deserve the freedom of thinking about anything without the fear of being dragged into a gloomy thought you are trying to avoid. This can be accomplished with something I have very creatively named “Link Editor”.
The idea of the link editor is quite simple. You visualize that there are electrical “bridges” between thoughts, and the more you use one and the more you apply emotion to one the stronger it gets. Like electricity, thoughts use the route with least resistance. Sadly, to try to deny a thought using a particular bridge only makes that bridge stronger because it gets considerably more attention when it is tried to be avoided. The only way to remove a bridge is to create other bridges with less resistance than the negative one. So just remember that emotion feeds the bridges, and that the emotion can be positive or negative. That is up to you.
- Visualize the subject that has the negative bridge.
- Think of 2 new associations to that subject. The associations must cause you to have a positive response. The association can be funny, uplifting, erotic, outrageous or whatever, as long as it creates a positive physical reaction.
- Visualize the subject and let yourself go from there to your newly created bridge, and repeat this at least 25 times and every time in the future when you stumble upon the subject.
- If the subject is negative to start with, use the “Loop Editor” on it.
The key here is to apply emotion. When you’re creating the new associations you must have strong emotion. Whatever gets you happy, excited, turned on or makes you laugh hysterically. The stronger the emotion, the less resistance is created between the subject and the link. Be playful with this. Try to make it funny and childish. Even when fixing a serious issue you can and should enjoy it full-heartedly.
Treat yourself like a loved one.
Chances are that no one punishes you for your mistakes more severely than you do yourself. This is useless for everyone. Nobody gains anything from the fact that you are punishing yourself. Putting yourself down and punishing yourself for mistakes that you have done in the past is only negative. Having a conscious is good, because it reminds you to make amends when you have done something wrong. But if you lack the confidence to actively go and apologize or do something to make wrongs right, you are only making your life worse by putting yourself down. And if you don’t give yourself the option of feeling good about yourself you will never get the confidence needed to actively take responsibility of your life.
So think how you would treat the most important person to you in the world, and start treating yourself with the same compassion. Change all the negative dialogue in your mind to the dialogue you would use to comfort or encourage your loved ones.
In three steps it goes like this.
- Recognize when you are using negative dialogue in your mind.
- Change that dialogue to what you think your loved one would use.
Positive inner dialogue is probably the most important part of getting out of depression or anxiety. It really helps to visualize the person you care about the most coming to you with the same problem you are having. The advice you give to that person should be the same advice you take. You deserve no less compassion or support than you would give to your loved ones.
When you first start using these techniques it might feel that it takes up most of your time, and at the beginning that might be true. But the more you apply these techniques and when you use them actively and efficiently they are extremely powerful and will help you in ways you can’t imagine.
Remember to keep writing every day, preferably in the morning. Write what is on your mind, and try to keep a positive tone on the pages. Don’t let yourself dwell in negativity all over the text you are writing. Use the pages to recognize negative thinking and apply the tools you have to proactively change your thoughts for the better.
This has all been a lot of information and I hope you didn’t power through it. I hope this helps you understanding the concept of separation and the importance of it in your every day life. From here we’ll continue to the next pillar of the three. Paradigm.